Show, Don’t Tell

#BetterWriter

The soup burned.

I’ve decided to join Allume.com for the next 31 days in their Become a Better Writer discipline. Today’s challenge was to revise a boring sentence and make it show, not just tell, what happened.

I offer you, dear reader, the revised version of: The soup burned.

bedroom clock by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-SphereI just went for a much-needed walk with my friend. That’s all. We haven’t talked for so long! “This soup will be fine while I’m gone. I’ll just add extra water and turn down the fire. I won’t be gone long. The house will smell delicious when I get home.”

The acrid smell assaulted my nose when I opened the door. The pot was charred black; the extra water cooked off. Now soup, round two, is bubbling away under my watchful eye. And I’m staying home.

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About Heidi

I'm a pastor's wife, striving to live generously. I'm also a homeschooling, gardening, knitting, cooking, reading mom.
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2 Responses to Show, Don’t Tell

  1. inhistiming says:

    Nice! I can definitely see it, and smell it. 🙂

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