The Ten Worst Things About Homeschooling

Link up to the ABC's  A guest post written by my oldest daughter:

1) You never get anything done.

I’m so busy working on my NaNoWriMo novel from November that I can’t (sanely) join Script Frenzy this April. I haven’t even started editing my novel yet! Trust me, if you are homeschooled, you will become a Dread Procrastinator.                                     Hey, that gives me an idea for a character…

2) You can’t have sick days unless you’re feverish, vomiting, hallucinating, in extreme pain, fainting, or all of the above.

3) You don’t get most of your public-schooled friends’ Facebook jokes.

On the other hand, you get all the jokes that begin, “A split infinitive walks into a bar…”

4) You have to talk to your parents.

I myself am REGULARLY FORCED to engage in polite dinner conversation with my parents. Oh, the AGONY of hours wasted in discussing politics, music, newts, and other minutia with my family (and without the solace of a cellphone…!).

5) People will ask you stupid questions.

Such as: “Do you have homework?” It really depends on your definition of ‘homework’.
“Do you have friends?” We’ve known each other for years, and you’re still asking me that? Really?

6) You may develop a large (even, dare I say, an INORDINATELY large) vocabulary.

7) You might do school on a Saturday. Voluntarily.

This is really very serious. If you find yourself going into withdrawal symptoms at the prospect of a weekend without science, dragging out history assignments because you’re having too much fun to actually finish them, or sneaking grammar textbooks up to your room for a little before-bed reading, you are doomed. You have become addicted to learning. There is as yet no cure for this ailment, and there is no sign that anyone who has succumbed to it will ever recover. I’m very sorry.

8) You may crave nontraditional learning spaces.

I speak from bitter experience here. The day you notice that your bedroom window is right above the porch roof, and that the screen of said window can come out, AND that you play the violin is the day that a normal life is forever denied to you.
But at least you’ll be ready for Broadway.

Reading by lady_jess, on Pix-O-Sphere
9) People may look at you funny when you tell them what you’re reading.

Your parents may even request shorter book reports. Note to self: the words ‘in-depth study’ do not mean ‘write an essay that is longer than the book’, especially when the book in question is by Victor Hugo.

10) Your life will not be nearly as boring as it might have been.

If all this does not dissuade you from homeschooling, I can accept no blame for the consequences.

I might, however, want to meet you.


About Heidi

I'm a pastor's wife, striving to live generously. I'm also a homeschooling, gardening, knitting, cooking, reading mom.
This entry was posted in Homeschool, parenting and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to The Ten Worst Things About Homeschooling

  1. Dawn says:

    I love this because it’s so TRUE!! “2) You can’t have sick days unless you’re feverish, vomiting, hallucinating, in extreme pain, fainting, or all of the above.” YES! If I’m sick, which only happens maybe once a year or even less than that, I have to be really, really sick in order to actually TAKE a sick day. Not that my kids mind, because that generally means that they either get a day off or have a really light day too.

  2. Oh my goodness, I LOVE this! And I’m going to share it on my facebook page! 🙂

    Thanks for the news about Script Frenzy as well!

    • Heidi says:

      Thanks for sharing… my daughter’s so excited about that!

      I enjoyed reading your blog, especially about learning Greek. Maybe Script Frenzy will be just the break your fried brain needs, lol!

  3. I love this! I laughed out loud when I got to the part about doing school voluntarily. On a Saturday. My kids were BEGGING me to read them more of the books we are working on for St. Patrick’s Day just this week. 🙂

    • Heidi says:

      We just read Tomie dePaola’s book about Saint Patrick. I love his illustrations, and was pleasantly surprised by my 5 year old’s interest in the story. She’s on a history kick lately.

  4. Linda says:

    Someone has her mother’s wit and insight. Love it!

    • Heidi says:

      She’s thinking about starting a blog of her own. Seems like a great idea to me, since she’s just written one of my most popular posts EVER.

  5. Love it!! My kids loved it as well!! They say homeschooling is the best,, now off to dissect a chicken wing for 3rd grade science.. Thats not too advanced is it???

    • Heidi says:

      Absolutely not too advanced! Have you ever mummified a chicken? I’m considering it with my #3 daughter… but may skip it since her Egypt fascination is waning.

      Glad you enjoyed the post!

  6. Susan says:

    This is so funny. Love numbers 2, 4, 7, 8, and 10. Thanks. Mind if I link to it from my blog?

    • Heidi says:

      She does have a good sense of humor! I think #10 is my personal favorite… life around here is anything but boring.

      And, yes, link away. I’m happy to share. 🙂

  7. Pingback: Top 10 Reasons to Homeschool

  8. Amber says:

    This is awesome. Your daughter is funny. =)

  9. Linda says:

    This is very funny and true. My daughter (6th grade) asked me if she had to take “only” four sciences in high school, and could she substitute sciences for electives, and why foreign language counted as an elective if you could already speak it. I see a very serious stretch of preparing ahead of me, just to keep ahead with her. Don’t you love homeschooling!
    Charging forward in our sixth grade curriculum, homeschooling because it is what we need to do, and wondering where tomorrow will lead us!

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