1) You never get anything done.
I’m so busy working on my NaNoWriMo novel from November that I can’t (sanely) join Script Frenzy this April. I haven’t even started editing my novel yet! Trust me, if you are homeschooled, you will become a Dread Procrastinator. Hey, that gives me an idea for a character…
2) You can’t have sick days unless you’re feverish, vomiting, hallucinating, in extreme pain, fainting, or all of the above.
3) You don’t get most of your public-schooled friends’ Facebook jokes.
On the other hand, you get all the jokes that begin, “A split infinitive walks into a bar…”
4) You have to talk to your parents.
I myself am REGULARLY FORCED to engage in polite dinner conversation with my parents. Oh, the AGONY of hours wasted in discussing politics, music, newts, and other minutia with my family (and without the solace of a cellphone…!).
5) People will ask you stupid questions.
Such as: “Do you have homework?” It really depends on your definition of ‘homework’.
“Do you have friends?” We’ve known each other for years, and you’re still asking me that? Really?
6) You may develop a large (even, dare I say, an INORDINATELY large) vocabulary.
7) You might do school on a Saturday. Voluntarily.
This is really very serious. If you find yourself going into withdrawal symptoms at the prospect of a weekend without science, dragging out history assignments because you’re having too much fun to actually finish them, or sneaking grammar textbooks up to your room for a little before-bed reading, you are doomed. You have become addicted to learning. There is as yet no cure for this ailment, and there is no sign that anyone who has succumbed to it will ever recover. I’m very sorry.
8) You may crave nontraditional learning spaces.
I speak from bitter experience here. The day you notice that your bedroom window is right above the porch roof, and that the screen of said window can come out, AND that you play the violin is the day that a normal life is forever denied to you.
But at least you’ll be ready for Broadway.
Your parents may even request shorter book reports. Note to self: the words ‘in-depth study’ do not mean ‘write an essay that is longer than the book’, especially when the book in question is by Victor Hugo.
10) Your life will not be nearly as boring as it might have been.
If all this does not dissuade you from homeschooling, I can accept no blame for the consequences.
I might, however, want to meet you.