Olympic Equipment That Would Never Exist

In honor of the summer Olympics, I offer you this list of sporty inventions that never would have happened if everyone was wimpy/non-athletic/chicken as I am:

  • Balance Beam. Less than 4 inches wide? 4 feet off the ground? I don’t think so.

    Gymnast feet on beam.

    Braver feet than mine. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Diving Board. Or, scarier still, the Platform. I can’t even watch.
  • Hurdles. Occasionally I jump. Rarely do I run. Never, never would I combine the two.

And to the list of Olympic equipment, we can add:

  • Skateboards
  • Surfboards
  • Hang gliders
  • Parachutes
  • Bungee cords
  • Rockets, Space Shuttles, and all things NASA

And in a unique, non-sporty category:

  • Alcoholic beverages in camouflage. Long Island “iced tea”, for example. If I want iced tea, I’ll drink iced tea. There’s no non-alcoholic version of wine, so if I want wine, I’ll drink that. Preferably Malbec. But let’s not confuse the two.

Sun Brew by tww, on Pix-O-Sphere

 

What about you? What inventions would never be if YOU were in charge? I’d love to know!

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About Heidi

I'm a pastor's wife, striving to live generously. I'm also a homeschooling, gardening, knitting, cooking, reading mom.
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7 Responses to Olympic Equipment That Would Never Exist

  1. The hurdles scare the daylights out of me. I know I would be totally banged up if I tried that!

  2. Kim S. says:

    The low-dive was scary enough for me! When trying to pass the YMCA swim test as a kid, I kept doing belly flops instead of dives! I hated the low dive! On the high dive (along with the jumping into the water thing from way high up), I was afraid I would slip off just walking to the end!
    I agree with you: I would never even consider a bungee jump or parachutes (and maybe it goes without saying too, but my kids would be prohibited for life from doing them too!)
    Even in Nascar country here: I don’t even like the idea of race-cars! Why would you do that??
    ; )
    “No one here but us chickens(in our house)!” isn’t that a quote from somewhere?

  3. Marcia says:

    Pole (as in vaulting), javelin, discus, shot put. Hello! They are weapons in disguise – and not a very good one, at that!

    • Heidi says:

      They could pretty much eliminate track and field altogether, right? I have a problem with sweating, too… as in, I dislike it. So I try to skip it.

  4. Marcia says:

    Oh! And please add guns of any kind.

  5. Tammy says:

    I’m with crafty. I could never do the hurdles. And maybe the kind of ice picks that are for climbing frozen waterfalls. Pretty sure that I wouldn’t have dreamed them up.

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